Leaders tend to have very high standards - the kind that fuel growth, drive results, and push for continuous improvement.

But there’s a subtle shift that can happen if those standards go unchecked.

They stop being a tool for growth, and instead become a lens for judgment.

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In the last article, we talked about what happens when you compare yourself to others and place someone you admire on a pedestal.

In doing so, you inadvertently shrink yourself.

Your confidence wavers, and your decisions start to feel riskier than they objectively are.

But there’s another side to the comparison trap.

One that feels more like confidence and certainty.

It presents itself when you look at others - their work, their decisions, and their leadership…

And instantly judgment sparks within you.

You notice what they’re doing wrong.
What they’re missing.
What you think they ‘should’ be doing differently.

And it can feel justified. It might even be accurate.

But underneath that reaction something else is happening inside of you.

You’re placing them in a pit.

And once you see it, you start to notice how often it happens.

To be clear - we all do this.

It isn’t a personality flaw.

It’s simply a pattern to pay attention to.

And it shows up when someone consistently irritates you.

When you feel frustrated every time they speak.

When you find yourself thinking:

“Why are they like this?”

At the extreme, it can make you not want to be around someone at all.

And more subtly it shows up as a low-level annoyance you carry with you without even questioning it.

But those reactions? They’re signals to pay attention to.

That’s how you know you’re placing someone in a pit.

But the twist here is that you’re not just evaluating them.

What’s actually happening is…

Self-righteous projection.

Without realizing it, you’re judging others through the same lens you use on yourself.

This is especially true for high performers, and even more so for perfectionists.

When you hold yourself to extremely high standards you’re constantly evaluating your own performance,

And carrying the pressure of feeling like: “I should be better than this.”

That internal pressure doesn’t stay contained within yourself though.

Instead, it gets projected outwardly, and you begin to see flaws everywhere.

In other people’s decisions, in their communication, and in their leadership.

And when this is happening, you’re automatically elevating your position,

And that rise can feel like an expression of your:

→ Certainty → Discernment → High standards → Experience

But it’s actually something else…

It’s a distorted comparison lens that’s keeping you from seeing reality clearly.

And this is where it gets even more revealing:

The traits that frustrate you the most in others… are traits you also possess.

Not in the exact same form, and not in the same context,

But they’re there. Every human possesses every trait.

The difference is this:

You tend to express that trait in areas that are less important to you…

So you dismiss it in yourself.

But when someone else expresses that same trait in an area you deeply value…

It becomes intolerable.

That’s why your reaction is so strong.

You’re not just reacting to the behavior,

You’re reacting to the meaning you’ve assigned to it.

And again, everyone does this to some extent,

But you can minimize it greatly!

For me, it was most prominent during my corporate career.

I found myself constantly frustrated with the environment around me.

Leaders who wouldn’t make decisions.
People who wouldn’t speak up.
Teams that felt stuck in hesitation.

And my internal narrative was:

If people would just step up… this wouldn’t be so hard.

It didn’t feel like superiority… It felt like clarity.

Like I could see what needed to happen and others couldn’t.

But looking back I can see what was really happening.

I was projecting my own frustration, and placing others in a pit as a way to make sense of it.

And here’s the part that’s easy to miss:

When you put someone in a pit it doesn’t just distort how you see them.

It distorts how you lead.

Because it creates blind spots.

You stop being open to learning.
You misjudge people and situations.
You underestimate perspectives that could actually sharpen you.

And over time, something else starts to happen.

You become harder to work with… even when your intentions are good.

So if you’re reading this and you want a clear indicator for whether or not this pattern is active in your life…

Take a look at who consistently frustrates you.

Not occasionally. Consistently.

The people you feel irritated by, dismissive of, or quietly critical toward…

Those are often the exact mirrors showing you where your perception is distorted.

This is one of the clearest signals that there’s a recalibration opportunity.

And until it’s addressed, it will limit how far your leadership can actually go,

Because you can only operate from distorted perception for so long before it catches up to you.

And this is the real risk of the pit:

Putting someone in a pit doesn’t protect you.

It isolates you, and it blinds you.

And over time it subjects you to the same kind of judgment you’ve been placing on others.

Some people call it karma. I call it correction.

And eventually it places you in the very position you were judging.

Because when you judge others harshly…

You’re creating an environment where that same standard gets applied back to you.

And eventually, you feel it.

You feel it in your relationships,
In leadership tension,
And in missed opportunities.

👉 Avoid the Pit Comparison Trap!

So why does this happen in the first place?

At the root, it’s generally not arrogance…

It’s more often misalignment combined with pressure.

You’re likely holding yourself to external standards that don’t fully align with your internal priorities.

And when you’re trying to live up to expectations that aren’t actually yours…

And you’re carrying internal criticism that hasn’t been examined…

That pressure looks for somewhere to go because it needs a release,

And it often gets redirected outwardly at others.

But when you shift out of that pattern something different happens.

You grow with people, not at their expense.

But this work requires something most people avoid:

And that’s humility.

Not the kind that lowers your expectations,

But the kind that’s willing to ask:

What if I’m not seeing this clearly?

Because without that question… There’s no possibility of recalibration.

And this is where faith becomes practical.

We’re not called to judge others harshly.

Not because standards don’t matter, but because we all fall short.

And more importantly…

Because we don’t see the full picture of someone else’s life.

Their priorities. Their pressures. Their season of life. And their capacity.

When you begin to understand that everyone is operating according to their own set of priorities…

Judgment starts to soften, recalibration is possible, and everything starts to shift.

Because when you remove the distortion of the pit mentality you aren’t abandoning your discernment…

You’re becoming more accurate in your assessment.

You can still evaluate. Still lead. Still hold standards.

But without projecting false inadequacies onto others to elevate yourself.

This is what real leadership looks like.

Leadership isn’t about rising above others…

It’s about lifting others up and bringing out the best in them.

Seeing their strengths clearly.
Understanding their limitations without judgment.
Creating environments where people can grow.

Because when you lead that way, everyone gets stronger… including you.

When you elevate others properly, you don’t lose your position,

You strengthen it.

And when you grow with people instead of at their expense, your impact compounds in a completely different way.

THIS is the shift that changes everything.

Comparison isn’t the problem. Distortion is.

When you elevate others, you shrink, and

When you diminish others, you inflate.

Both judgments are distorted, because they’re both inaccurate.

And leadership ultimately comes down to one thing:

Seeing people - including yourself - clearly enough to build from truth.